When is okay to steal?

In many discussions of morality, the following question arises, "Is a thief justified if they steal in order to feed their hungry family, or to pay for medical expenses that will save members of their family?" The answer I hear so often is that it is justified in those extreme cases because it's a matter of life and death.

However, if you look at Exodus 20:15, you'll see very clearly that God says, "You shall not steal." He doesn't give any exceptions for extreme situations. Stealing is always sinful because it violates God's commandment. We should not look at situations and ask whether the good that might be done by stealing might outweigh the sinfulness of doing it, because it cannot. If we think that a sinful response is our only option, we need to keep looking for different options that are within the will of God.

Stealing is not the only commandment that people try to justify breaking. Lying, murder, adultery, and coveting probably all seem appealing at different times, but they're still wrong. We should avoid trying to justify them and should challenge others to do the same.

Experience: Friend or Foe?

Some of the people that I work with have little experience in certain areas, while other that I work with have much experience in those areas. As a result, those with experience tend to be much more confident in these areas. Based on this summary, it would seem that experience is a good thing.

However, there are also time when experience can be limiting. For example, if someone has a bad experience with something, they may be hesitant to try it again. Or, if people are used to doing things a certain way, they tend to think (consciously or subconsciously), "This is the only way or the best way to do it."

When a team you're working with is about to tackle a new thing, it's helpful to ask the group members, "What is your experience with this type of thing?" If they have no experience with it, watch for signs of hesitation and help them feel more comfortable. If they have a lot of experience, look for ways to capitalize on it without letting them drive the project in a direction that is different than what you have in mind. The balance that I usually strive for is to say, "That is definitely a good option for how we can do it. Now let's consider whether that's the best in this situation."

Finally, be aware of how your own experience plays into your thinking. Be willing to consider new ways of doing things and determine to improve upon past mistakes you may have made.

Simple, Clear Communication

Relationships are a huge part of our lives, and good communication is critical to any relationship. Since people have often complimented me on on my ability to communicate clearly, I'd like to pass on my main strategies:

1. Make sure you've got your audience's attention, or else your communication is futile. If the audience seems to lose attention, regain the attention before continuing. There are many strategies for doing this, but I usually like to just wait silently until I have each person's attention, then if they start talking or getting distracted, I just stop and wait.
   
2. Whenever you're giving instructions, start by explaining the goal. If possible, show the audience a sample of the final product so that they know what they're working toward. Remember that picture is worth 1000 words, and showing someone something can clear up a lot of questions. Starting with an accurate analogy or reference to something the audience already knows can also speed up the process of understanding.
   
3. When communicating an explanation for something, give the audience a simple flow of the concepts, then go back and add details. It's helpful to explain things in a simple cause-and-effect way, where A causes B and B causes C. This gives people the general framework on which they can hang the other details. It helps them remember the details longer, as well as avoiding hang-ups on insignificant details.
4. When telling a story, go in chronological order. If you accidentally start in the middle of the story, interrupt yourself by saying, "Wait, let me back up."
   
5. When communicating content, go from general to specific. Start by setting up some mental categories for your audience. For example, "Today we're going to learn about the Civil War. The Civil War had basically two sides: the North and the South."
   
6. Words that technically mean the same thing may have different connotations, so choose your words and phrases carefully. This takes time, so give some advance thought to how you'll present something important. Keep in mind that you may have an awesome way of saying something, but if the audience doesn't understand it, you should find a different way.
   

There is an interesting side benefit to using simple, clear communication: People start to listen to you more carefully. However, be careful to not abuse this attention. If you take advantage of it by unnecessary rambling, they will lose interest.

I'd encourage you to consider how simply and clearly you are able to communicate, then try out a little test. Think back to the most recent book you read, then try to summarize it someone else in 20 seconds and see how clearly they understand it.

"It was the least I could do"

Part of living an examined life is paying attention to the words we say.

One popular phrase is normally heard when one person is hurting or in need, and other does something kind for them. The benevolent friend then comments "It's the least I could do," as if that's supposed to make the person feel better. Perhaps it's meant to convey that they deserve more, but instead it conveys the friend's own laziness. It would be better to say, "I know you deserve/ need much more than this, but this is all I can do for now. I plan to help more as soon as I'm able."

As you go throughout the day, ask yourself whether you're really meaning the words that you say. Notice also how carefully people listen to each other's words. Communication is a two part process: sending information and receiving information. If either part is flawed, the process will be interrupted. However, if each person does their part of the communication process well, the message has the best chance of success.

F1 is my friend!

Men seem to have a reputation for refusing to ask for directions. Personally, I think that life is too short to spend a lot of time going the wrong direction, so when I am looking for something or think that I might be lost, I am quick to ask someone for help. I never regret doing this because when I ask the right person, they point me in the right direction and I reach my destination more quickly. When I'm on the computer and don't know how to do something, I simply have to press the F1 key and type in my question.

The way I see it, there's no reason to be afraid of a person's reaction to to asking for directions. For one thing, nobody looks down on another person for asking directions; rather, they probably will think of you as very wise. For another, it makes someone feel good to help another person. Sometimes, I'll ask someone for directions even if I already know where to go, just because I want it to help them feel significant.

Keep in mind that asking for directions is not limited to shopping in a store or driving down the road. It also applies to how we grow as people. Everyone can benefit from having a mentor: someone older and wiser who can guide us in making difficult decisions and make suggestions for things to work on. If you have a mentor, I'd encourage you to ask them for "directions" often. If you don't have one, look around for someone who is setting a good example and consider asking them to be a mentor for you, or if they like computers, ask them to be your F1--they'll know what it means.