Going Around in Circles

A couple months ago, I was impacted by hearing one of the pastors at my church emphasize the value of listening carefully to peoples' questions in order to respond to their exact question. I realized that I have often listened to the first part of their question and then filled in the rest in my mind.

Because of this, I have become aware of times recently that I am talking with someone and trying to explain something or get a certain answer, but we go around in circles. I figured out that if I say the same thing (or ask the same question) twice and the other person still doesn't understand, either I'm not listening carefully enough or I'm not explaining something in a way that they understand. When sharing my thoughts or questions, it's not enough for my words to make sense to me; they also need to make sense to the other person.

So when I find that I'm going around in circles with somebody, I've trained myself to stop and try a different way of approaching the conversation. Rather than repeating myself with more emphasis or accusing them of not understanding, I force myself to figure out why they are not understanding what I'm saying. I've found that to be much more effective.