Do you need a pencil or a pen?

If you looked at my dayplanner, you would see several events written for the next few months. You would also notice that I have frequently crossed out an event due to a change in date or a cancellation. I have learned that so many things can change before an event happens, so to avoid making my dayplanner a mess, I have started to use a pencil to plan upcoming events.

On the other hand, it is completely acceptable to use a pen when recording details about an event that has already happened. Sure, you may go back later and add to what you've written, but an event that has already transpired will not change. It is locked in history, so you can lock it in ink with a pen.

The more I thought about this, the more I was reminded that when we plan for the future, we should always use a pencil--either literally (with a dayplanner) or figuratively (when we are just talking to someone). Although there are things that we are fully expecting to happen, we can never be completely sure that they will happen--at least in the way we expect--until they actually happen. Even if we don't try to change our plans, they will often change anyway. Rain delays, traffic jams, computer failures, and lack of money will often force plans to change. Once they have happened, there is no changing them anymore, so we should consider them to be written in pen. If you are recording details of an event that has already happened, you may go back later and add more details, but you will not necessarily need to change what you've written.

Sometimes I get the "pencil" and "pen" concepts mixed up. I tend to assume that if I carefully plan something, then it will be written in stone and will certainly happen the way I expect, no matter what. I am usually proven wrong, resulting in frustration or embarrassment (or a messy dayplanner!). Other times, I think regretfully about the past and try hard to find ways to change what I have done for the better. Unfortunately, this is even more impossible than confidently knowing how future events will turn out. I am learning to hold the future with an open hand and accept the past for what it is. I believe that getting these concepts straight can save somebody a lot of stress in life over forcing things to be what they may not or cannot be. It is not fun to think about our limitations, but it is helpful so that we don't get too stressed.

There is a point in the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when the characters enter a small room. It is very tight and somebody suggests they go back. Willy Wonka quickly explains, "Oh, you can't get out backwards. You've gotta go forwards to go back. Better press on." That advice is true of us today. Although we cannot go back in time, we can learn from the mistakes we made and look for ways to do better in the future or help others to learn from our mistakes. As I've mentioned, whenever we plan for the future, we should picture ourselves as writing with a pencil, and anytime we reflect on events of the past, we should picture ourselves as writing with a pen. However, there is tremendous value in reviewing the past (which is "written in pen") so you can more wisely "write in pencil" and use less eraser.