The value of being non-committal
Is there anyone you would describe as non-committal? You may find it rather annoying when people are afraid to take any responsibility, or they have low confidence that they can do what you are asking them to do. However, it is also annoying when people make promises that they do not keep. After a person makes a few promises that they don't keep, you start to lose confidence in their reliability.
This year I have been working on the character trait of reliability. I have noticed my tendency to promise lots of little things, yet forget to do them. Here are some examples:
1. I'll e-mail you that document tomorrow.
2. I'll call you next week.
3. I'll help you with that project.
A few months ago I was exposed to a system called "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. This system helps you organize your life. One of its basic strategies is to get in the habit of writing things down. As simple as this sounds, I have become much more intentional about writing things down (in a location where I know I will look regularly), so that I remember to do them without having the stress of them floating around in my head.
One line from one my favorite poems says, "A promise made is a debt unpaid". When I remember a promise that I made but not fulfilled, I cringe to think that someone out there may be losing their trust in me. Therefore, I have been pondering a very simple solution: Don't make many promises, and for the few that you do make, find ways to remind yourself to quickly do them.
For example, today I was talking to someone on the phone and I offered to e-mail her a list of names within 30 minutes. At the same moment that I said that, I created a new e-mail, addressed it to her, and wrote the first sentence of the e-mail. That way, when I hung up the phone, I could not possibly avoid seeing the e-mail I had already started. Plus, once an e-mail is started, it is more motivating to finish it.
With another situation today, I was about to e-mail someone to promise that I would post a certain thing to our church's website, but I stopped myself. I took a moment to post the item first, then I e-mailed the person to say that I had already posted it. As Benjamin Franklin once stated, "Well done is better than well said."
This year I have been working on the character trait of reliability. I have noticed my tendency to promise lots of little things, yet forget to do them. Here are some examples:
1. I'll e-mail you that document tomorrow.
2. I'll call you next week.
3. I'll help you with that project.
A few months ago I was exposed to a system called "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. This system helps you organize your life. One of its basic strategies is to get in the habit of writing things down. As simple as this sounds, I have become much more intentional about writing things down (in a location where I know I will look regularly), so that I remember to do them without having the stress of them floating around in my head.
One line from one my favorite poems says, "A promise made is a debt unpaid". When I remember a promise that I made but not fulfilled, I cringe to think that someone out there may be losing their trust in me. Therefore, I have been pondering a very simple solution: Don't make many promises, and for the few that you do make, find ways to remind yourself to quickly do them.
For example, today I was talking to someone on the phone and I offered to e-mail her a list of names within 30 minutes. At the same moment that I said that, I created a new e-mail, addressed it to her, and wrote the first sentence of the e-mail. That way, when I hung up the phone, I could not possibly avoid seeing the e-mail I had already started. Plus, once an e-mail is started, it is more motivating to finish it.
With another situation today, I was about to e-mail someone to promise that I would post a certain thing to our church's website, but I stopped myself. I took a moment to post the item first, then I e-mailed the person to say that I had already posted it. As Benjamin Franklin once stated, "Well done is better than well said."
posted by Ben and Christina at
10:47 PM
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