Is Santa Claus Real?

In my experience of working with children, I often get asked by children, "Is Santa Claus real?", or I get asked by parents, "What should I tell my children about Santa?" Here's my answer: A long time ago, there was a real man named Nicholas. He went around leaving surprise gifts for poor people around Christmastime. Eventually, he became called "Saint Nicholas" because of his kindness. Although Nicholas eventually died, his story lived on, and people added details that have led to a very unrealistic conception of any human being.

That's my nice response. My stronger response (when I'm in a bad mood) would be associate Santa with the devil in as many ways as possible. For example:

Both Santa and Satan use the same letters.
Neither Santa nor Satan regularly use the front door. Santa enters the house through a chimney and Satan looks for secret ways to come into our lives.
Santa is not the true reason for the season, and Satan is not the true ruler of the universe.
Both are traditionally associated with the color red.
Both are very old, much older than the people alive today.
Children think that Santa brings them gifts, but really it's their parents who put the gifts under the tree. Satan would like to see children unappreciative of their parents.
Santa comes in the middle of the night because he wants to be secret. Satan is invisible.
Santa's sleigh can fly around the world very quickly. Satan is a spirit, so he can travel very quickly too. Both are able to keep track of what people are doing.
Santa supposedly gives rewards to boys and girls for good behavior. Satan wants people to see good works as their ticket to heaven.

Does this sound like I'm being too hard on Santa? I'm not. It's not possible to be hard on somebody who does not exist.